Self Care is Vital; Not Selfish

If you were to take just five minutes to scroll through your Instagram feed, you will no doubt come across many snapshots of gorgeous women immersed in steaming baths adorned with flowers and bubbles.

These posts all feature beautifully manicured feet conspicuously sticking out the water, an expertly applied facial mask and even a glass of sparkling wine to complete the picture. You are sighing, saying to yourself that will only happen to you when you win the jackpot, right? Possibly, but hang on there!

Self-care for yourself as a woman is vital, it is not meant only for the fortunate few. It is a necessity, in fact, no matter what kind of a lifestyle you lead, and no matter own much money you have or don’t have.

Self-care is a term which when simply defined means taking care of one’s own health and needs. Let’s explain it better here:

It’s a true story, the one of Poppy Marler. She had a realization when she decided to look at herself at 40; to change her life and begin a new journey head-on.

She says that when she was a young mother, she just put everything on hold, being hyper-focused on her child’s care. She actually put her own life on hold. She neglected friendships, and bored anyone who’d listen with baby stories and pictures.

When she got into real social situations, she found she could not add anything to the conversation because all of her current experiences were about her parenting experiences. She had no life or interests outside of motherhood.

She didn’t notice that she had put on a whole lot of weight either because she no longer dressed in her professional or party clothes. In fact, there were very few times when she wore anything nursing and spit-up friendly. She gradually realized that she had no life outside of her child.

Finally, a dear older and wiser friend of hers told her that it was an essential thing, apart from taking care of her family, to take care of her own needs because her own health and happiness directly impacts her ability to care for her family. She then realized the consequences of her self deprioritization:

• Weight gain
• Depression
• Lack of Socialization

Poppy eventually realized that just like how in an airplane, you are instructed to put on your own oxygen mask first, then help others; in order to help others, you need to take care of yourself first. It was then that she discovered how taking steps to care for yourself each day should be top priority.

She went on further to start involving these important aspects into her life:

Exercise, because moving your body keeps your blood circulating, keeps you strong, and keeps your mood happy.

Eating well: She says she learned to eat 5-7 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, ensuring that she got all her nutrients in, removing all the junk foods.

Maintaining relationships outside your family. It was important that her family remained her top priority, but she also learned not to under-estimate the power of good friends. She found that just having someone to talk to was a great help in advancing feelings of well-being.

Getting enough sleep: Without good and enough sleep, the quality of your life deteriorates rapidly. Sleep is what is needed to help your body recover and repair itself, and also to avoid television as well as snacks which are high in sugar and fat before bedtime.

Getting dressed every day: Working and walking around all day in sweats and slippers is not good for anyone’s self-esteem. We know that when we look good, we feel so good.

Having a positive attitude: A positive, mindful attitude used on yourself and others will change the way you view life. It gives you a reason to get up in the morning and face whatever challenges come your way!

Have a hobby: You need interests of your very own outside of the home and family because it maintains your individuality.

Spend some time alone: Just taking a relaxing bath for 30 minutes or a few hours out to do your hair and nails or reading a book you have been meaning to read, these are what boost your morale, your spirits, and make you feel good about yourself and life.

Ask for help: If you are struggling, don’t be afraid to ask for help, because it’s true, we can’t do everything alone – no man is an island.

It figures; learning to take care of your own needs isn’t selfish, it’s downright essential. It makes you a better caretaker because after all, happiness and health are top assets to have, aren’t they? It’s a lifetime investment – how are you really doing?

10 Helpful Tips on Hamster Care

Hamsters have many qualities that endear them as pets - they are small, soft, cuddly, and extremely cute. They also don't require housebreaking or daily walks. They do, however, require specific care. 

Whether you choose to acquire a Syrian hamster (or Golden hamster, the most common) or dwarf hamsters, following these ten tips will help keep your hammy friend happy and healthy for its entire 2-4 year lifespan. 


1. Set up the cage first 

Before you go buy your hamster, get the cage set up to minimize transition time. If you are getting a Syrian hamster, get only one, as Syrians do not live in communities. Dwarf hamsters, however, can live in pairs. Wire cages or glass aquariums are both fine, as long as there are at least two square feet provided per hamster or dwarf pair and the top is secure. Hamsters are efficient escape artists!


2. Choose appropriate bedding for the cage

Pet stores offer a wide variety of beddings, from pine shavings to pellets. Whatever you choose, make it at least three inches deep so your hamster can dig.


3. Provide privacy

Hamsters need a place to sleep during the day that is quiet and private, such as an old tissue box or commercial hamster "igloo" within the hamster's habitat.  


4. Hamsters need lots of exercise

In the wild, hamsters run long distances to various food sources, and thus they are programmed to be on the move. Let your hamster out to exercise in a hamster-proof area for a bit each day and also provide an exercise wheel. Toys are appropriate, too, such as toilet paper tubes, pipes and tunnels of PVC or other hard plastic, or small, cardboard boxes.


5. Good food is important

A commercial hamster mix is appropriate for daily rations. Put the food in a heavy bowl and supplement with healthy treats such as raw vegetables (but not raw potato, onion, or garlic), fruits, and nuts.


6. Clean water is essential

It's better to put your hamster's water into a bottle that hangs on the side of the cage than in a pan or bowl. Containers of water get dirty quickly and are prone to spilling. Change the water in the bottle daily.


7. The need to chew

Hamsters do not just like chewing; they have to, in order to keep their front teeth worn down. Commercial chew sticks without added coloring are appropriate, or you can give your hamster a large dog biscuit or twigs from beech, maple, or fruit trees that have not been exposed to pesticides.


8. Respect their nocturnal nature

Hamsters sleep during the day and are active during the night, so be sure the cage is kept somewhere that the night-time noise will not bother human sleepers. Also, hamsters do not like to be awakened during the day (and may bite if so bothered), so clean the cage or handle the hamster later in the day. 


9. Keep it clean

Your hamster will designate a corner of his cage as a bathroom; scoop this area out daily, and any caches of food hidden about the habitat. Once a week, change all the bedding and clean or replace the toys.  


10. Handle with care

Be gentle when you pick up your hamster. Scoop him up by cupping your hands around his body and hold him over a close surface so he won't fall far if he wiggles free. 

When hamsters are maintained properly, which is not difficult, they make delightful, charming little pets.

Here is a great video to give you some more tips on caring for your hamster:

Why Divorced Parents Should Have the Same Rules at Both Homes

Divorce can be traumatic, not only for the separating partners, but also for their children. Kids who are caught in the middle experience a deluge of emotions, including sadness, anger and confusion. How the parents handle the divorce, however, can make it more or less difficult for them.

A frequent point of contention between divorcing parents is the set of rules that their children are expected to follow. Usually, while married, parents come up with a set of rules to which they can both agree. But in the event of separation, each parent may prefer to change the rules a bit for when the children are with them.

Overall, this is a bad idea. While it is ultimately up to the parent to enforce rules, having two different sets of rules is generally bad for the children. Here are a few reasons why this is so:

* Having to adjust to a different set of rules each time a child visits the other parent is difficult. They might get confused about which rules apply where, and that could get them in trouble.

* Children may resent the parent who enforces more restrictive rules. These rules might be in the child's best interest, but he still feels that he's being treated unfairly because they do not apply when he is with the other parent. This often leads to conflict between parent and child.

* A difference in rules can cause added conflict between the parents. Not only does this produce more stress in the adults, it also hurts the children. Even though the parents are separated, seeing them fight is not good for the children.

* Children need a sense of stability. This stability is lessened when their parents divorce. But being subject to the same rules at both households gives them some semblance of security.


Agreeing on the Rules


When you come to the decision to get a divorce, the first thing that's usually discussed is who will get the children and how visitation will work. It's also important to discuss the continuation of rules early on. 

Parents often assume that the other parent will keep the same rules, but that doesn't always happen. This is especially true in households where the rules are flexible or not well defined.

For best results, rules should remain the same as when the parents were together. But children who are experiencing a state of transition may need to have their rules revised. For example, a child who is ready to start dating will need rules that weren't necessary before. In such circumstances, the parents need to discuss the prospective new rules ahead of time and do their best to come to an agreement on them.

Having the same rules at both homes makes things easier for parents and children. It makes for less conflict and greater uniformity. While a divorce is not by nature a pleasant experience, maintaining a consistent set of rules can make it less unpleasant.

Here's a little story, read aloud, that younger children may enjoy:

Divorce and Teenagers

Divorce is a difficult thing for a couple to go through. When there are children involved, it is much more difficult. Young children may have a hard time understanding what's going on. Teenagers are more aware of the logistics of the situation, but that doesn't mean that it's not hard on them, too.

Teenagers from broken homes are more likely to have problems at school. They may also act out at home, or even find themselves in trouble with the police. They are literally caught in the middle of the divorce, and this can put them into a state of emotional turmoil.


The better the divorce is handled, the less of a negative impact it will have on teenagers and any other children involved. As hard as it may be, it is extremely important to keep things civil between you and your spouse. It's also crucial to keep your children in the loop.

How to Break the News of Divorce

Telling your children that you're getting a divorce is not an easy thing to do, but it must be done. With teenagers, it's especially important to let them know soon after you've come to a decision. But if you have younger children as well, they should be informed at the same time to prevent feelings of resentment.

When it's time to break the news, gather everyone in a comfortable setting such as a family room. If possible, both parents should be present. Once you've put things out in the open, each child should have the opportunity to ask questions in the presence of the family and in private.

What About Custody and Visitation?


Be sure to tell your teenager about custody arrangements as soon as they are settled. This is one of the most important aspects of the lives of children with divorced parents, so it's vital to keep them informed. Doing so will help maintain your child's trust.

It's also critical to keep communication open with both parents as much as possible. As long as there is no abuse of any kind, children should be allowed to stay in touch with the non-custodial parent. 

Since teenagers today have different methods of communication than their parents did when growing up, it's important to keep in touch with them on their terms to some extent. In addition to phone calls and visits, emails and text messaging will help kids stay in contact with parents at all times.

Visits with the non-custodial parent should be fun and exciting. Since you won't be spending as much time with your teenager as your former spouse, it's important to make sure you pack as much value into your visits as possible. 

This doesn't mean you should try to outdo the other parent, just that you need to plan activities that you and your child can enjoy together. Some ideas include going to the movies, playing ball at the park or visiting local attractions.

Teens are in one of the most turbulent stages of their lives, and dealing with the divorce of their parents makes these years even more difficult. By keeping the lines of communication open and striving to maintain good relationships with both parents, you can make things significantly less stressful.

10 Wonderful Ways to Encourage Children to Feel Good about Themselves

Children can be cruel by calling each other names or making disparaging comments about one another. As an adult, you can process unkind comments made to or about you without them affecting you deeply. You may want to know how to encourage children to feel good about themselves; these ten suggestions may help in that endeavor.


Feeling good about yourself simply means liking or believing in yourself and your abilities. It is developed as we love and care for our children which reinforces their importance in our lives. They see themselves through our eyes as they grow. Having a supportive and loving family will help them develop and maintain this vital self-worth.

The following are things parents can do to encourage children to feel good about themselves:

1. Tell your child that you love them often and sincerely. Let them know how glad you are about the person they’re becoming.

2. Spend time with your child. Listen to what they have to say. Support their dreams by being an active participant in their life. Your presences show their importance because time is a precious commodity.

3. Expect their best without expecting perfection. You can expect their best effort in school; however, accepting a lower grade as their best is important if they have worked hard for that grade. No one is perfect; expecting perfection damages their self-esteem rather than encouraging it.

4. Take an interest in your child’s schoolwork by being supportive. Help them with homework but don’t do it for them. Support after-school activities or volunteer at events in which they participate.

5. When helping your child with schoolwork, try to focus on more than the areas they’re struggling with. Give them the opportunity to show you their strengths. This will bolster their confidence before tackling something they may not be well-versed in yet.

6. Encourage them to have friends over. Make their friends feel welcome and take an interest in them. Allowing your child’s friends in your home also lets you see what type of influence your child’s friends will have on your child.

7. Children want to feel they have something to contribute. Expect them to help with family chores at their level. Younger children can fold clean clothes or set the table for dinner. Older children can do chores which don’t require your supervision. It’s also important for your child to be responsible for cleaning up their own messes, including keeping their bedroom clean.

8. Ask your child to help you with something. With all the new technology today, they’re probably better than you at some skills. Getting their help on a project requiring technology could whet their appetite for a new hobby as well as helping you with something important.

9. Allow your child the opportunity to fail. Children learn problem-solving skills by having to figure things out for themselves. If you solve your child’s problems, they won’t learn these skills. 

10. Celebrate their achievements and successes. Encourage them with positive reinforcement. Be sure, however, that your praise is genuine as children are able to tell the difference between genuine praise and platitudes.

Children, like adults, want to know they are accepted and appreciated by those they love. Following some of these suggestions, you can learn how to encourage children to feel good about themselves. Once you’ve learned, don’t forget to put the suggestions into practice and watch your child’s self-esteem soar.

What to Do When Kids Start Cursing

Some parents carefully watch every word that comes out of their mouths. Others let a curse word slip from time to time. But no matter which category you fall into, hearing your child curse isn't a pleasant experience.


Whether you find it amusing or appalling, the last thing you want is for your child to say a swear-word at the wrong time. And most parents agree that swearing is a horrible and offensive habit that they don't want their kids to develop. So what do you do when your child starts cursing? Here are a few tips.


1. Don't overreact. 

If you make a big scene when your child utters a dirty word, there's a good chance that it will reinforce the behavior. He could use the word again when he craves attention, or he might decide that it's a good word to use when he wants to get under your skin.


2. Do your best not to laugh. 

Whether you truly find it amusing or just giggle nervously, this could also cause a repeat occurrence. Your child will see that he made you laugh, and he might use the same word again when he wants to be funny.


3. Avoid confronting your child about swearing when he does it when angry or upset. 

This will only add fuel to the fire in most cases. Work through the problem at hand, and discuss the bad language at a calmer time.


4. Watch your own language a little more closely. 

Kids often pick up curse words at home, and if you use them frequently, they are more likely to think it's acceptable to do so themselves.


5. Take your child's age into consideration. 

Children who are just learning to talk usually do not realize that swear words are bad. So scolding them when they use them serves little purpose. In many cases, if you just ignore it, they won't say it again.


6. If your child has more developed language skills, 

a calm and simple explanation of why they shouldn't swear will often solve the problem. If you tell them that a word is not nice, there's a good chance that they will cease to use it.


7. Older children who know that swear-words are bad may need to be disciplined when they use them. 

Depending on their age and the circumstances, time out, suspension of certain privileges or grounding may be appropriate.


8. Consider the context of the swear-word. 

Calling someone a bad name is much more hurtful than swearing because you tripped and fell. Both should be discouraged, but make sure the punishment fits the crime.


9. When you slip and say a curse word, apologize. 

Doing so will set a good example for your child.  Another thing you may want to try is implementing a 'swear jar'.  Lots of families these days are using one in their home, so that each family member is held accountable when they curse.  A set amount of money goes into the jar each time someone someone slips up.


10. Offer more acceptable alternatives to swearing. 

There are plenty of words in the English language that are not so offensive. You could even encourage your child to make up his own silly expressions to use instead of curse words.

These days, few kids get through childhood without saying a single curse word. When your child swears, don't take it too hard. As long as you make it clear that such words are unacceptable, the chances of your little angel developing an incurable potty mouth are very slim.

Do you like Supernanny?  We love watching Supernanny, and often with our kids!  Check out this great clip which offers techniques to help nip cursing in the bud: