How to Tell Toddlers "No" in a Positive Fashion

Sometimes it feels as if your child will be a sweet cuddly infant forever, but before you know it they are toddling around and doing things you’d rather they not do, and getting into things that they shouldn't be. There comes a time in every mother’s life when her baby goes from a sweet little cooing baby to an obstinate child. It seems to happen overnight.

Yet, constant negativity and saying no all the time can not only frustrate you as a parent, but it can frustrate your child, too. Plus, children can become almost immune to the word “no” (and of course, it’s many a child’s first word) when it’s used so often. The onus is on a new mom to find a way to say no, without always feeling as though she is being negative.

• Teach Self-Discipline – Believe it or not you can start very young in teaching your child to practice self-discipline. Much like you try to teach them to self sooth at night to fall asleep or go back to sleep in their own bed, you can also teach your child to think before they act at a very young age.  Someplace between 12 and 18 months old children develop the capacity to control their actions. The trick here is to model the behavior you want from your child, so even during difficult times it's important to keep your cool.

• Redirect (Intercept) – One of the best methods to use when your child starts to do something you don’t want them to do is to redirect them, or intercept their actions. If you’re paying attention you can tell when your child is going to have a breakdown, or touch something they’re not supposed to touch. When that occurs simply catch their attention and direct it toward something else. This requires an extraordinary amount of work at first, (and discipline for mama, too!) but eventually you’ll notice your child self-redirecting. 

• Keep Your Toddler Engaged – Some children do very well staying out of trouble by staying 'busy'. If you want to eat quietly at a family restaurant, instead of expecting your child to sit through an hour or more of adult conversation, bring some quiet toys so they can play. Perhaps take a book for them to flip through, and some coloring books and crayons. 

• Teach Your Baby Sign Language – One of the very best techniques to start teaching when your child is still an infant is basic sign language. Children can learn the signs sooner than they can learn to verbalize. Start teaching your baby sign language starting around six months old and you’ll find that you’ll have a happier and less frustrated toddler on your hands later.

• Say 'Yes' As Often As You Can - Finding ways around no, but still teaching a child discipline is a great challenge in the first months and years of life. Remember though, it’s not impossible even though there are times when it feels as though it is. It is good to establish firm boundaries with your child, and it is entirely possible to do this in a gentle and loving fashion.

It’s never easy to say no to your child, but if you figure out how to get rid of most of the no’s you can make this word more important and more likely to be listened to. The added bonus is that this will help you to create a more positive environment for your child as well!