Growing the Bond Between Daddy & Baby

Sometimes moms have a difficult time giving new dads their time with the new baby.  This is a somewhat common problem among new parents. We want our partners to help us more, but we have a hard time letting go of the idea that if it isn't done our way, it may not be done the right way.

This is not really a surprise, since right from the start it is mommy that a baby will cry most for.

In general, men report performing about 20 hours per week less of household chores than women report doing. Many men admit to doing less, but their reasons for this aren't necessarily what we might think.

Let Him Find His Own Way of Doing Things

Many new fathers are already nervous enough. They feel that women have more instinct for child rearing than they do, not because it’s entirely true, but partly because society demonstrates this through television shows, commercials and more.

So, unless something is truly dangerous or unhealthy, let your husband take care of his child in his own way.  Try not to critique everything he does.

If He’s Reluctant, Give Him a Nudge

Find an excuse that you have to do something or be somewhere and leave him to it. This may be difficult, but he’ll be fine. I needed to train myself to do this, I found it incredibly hard at first.

However, as much as my husband needed to bond with baby without me around, I needed to step out for a break and have coffee with a friend now and again.

He needs to learn just as you’ve had to learn.  Ensure that he feels safe to call you or someone else if he has questions.  You want him to feel safe for asking, just like you do for asking your friends or family.

Let Him Take Part in Feeding Times

Once your milk is established, you may wish to try to pump and let daddy do at least one feeding per day.  My husband loved this, he began to look forward to it each day after work.

He can also take night duty occasionally if you both work, or on nights he doesn’t have to go to work in the morning.  We still struggle with this one though, it is usually me doing the night shifts with the little ones. Granted, he does get up much earlier for work.

One or two feedings each day will help the father bond with the baby in a way that other activities don’t. There is something about feeding your baby that creates a stronger bond.

Don't Be Too "Quick on the Draw"

When you first hear your baby cry and both of you are home, it’s hard not to jump right up to the sound. But, you should give your husband an opportunity to learn to react to your baby’s cries too.  If your husband can react to daytime crying he’ll be that much more likely to react to nighttime crying.

When you step back and let your husband do his fatherly duties you will be surprised at how much he’ll step up. Imagine if you had the opportunity to just let someone else do it all the time ... you might also slack off too!

Giving your husband the opportunity to father your child will pay off now and later due to the stronger bond that will be developed between father and child.

Now check out this super sweet video of baby and daddy bonding moments from Big Daddy!